I Hate Him
by Tae-chan2012
Summary: A few thoughts from Tae on a certain deceased Uchiha. OCxShisui, character death mentioned, minor language, Oneshot.


I hate him. Period.

I hate the way he teases me and makes fun of my height.

I hate it when he pets my head like I'm a little kid even though I'm only two years younger than him.

I hate it when he leaves for long missions and never tells me.

I hate the way he gets along with everyone else better than I can.

I hate that he's taller than me.

I hate that he's perfectly tan while I'm as pale as a sheet.

I hate that he doesn't let me go on 'dangerous' missions even though he's no right to.

I hate that he's older.

I hate that he can easily make me go weak in the knees with one look.

I hate his angry look. (He's not nice when upset)

I hate when girls flirt with him and he's too dense to even give a damn.

I hate his smile. (It makes me feel weak..)

I hate when he pulls me close from behind and blows on my neck when he knows I hate that. (Damn bastard..)

I hate that he can have any girl at any moment and doesn't realize it.

I hate that his complexion and raven hair match perfectly and I look like a ghost.

I hate that he was always stronger than me when we sparred.

I hate that he'd pick me up and dust me off afterwards anyway with that damn smile plastered on his stupid face as always.

I hate that we'd go out for dango and he always wouldn't let me pay. (Sexist bastard..)

I hate that when we'd eat RAMEN, he'd always bail cause you know, I'm a pig..

I hate that he'd apologize and buy me dango afterwards to make up for it.

I hate that he makes my feel lonely when he's out on missions or family stuff that requires him going out of the village for a really long time.

I hate when he just hugs me randomly from behind and just says 'it's cold'. (We're in the damn land of fire, how the hell can you be cold?!)

I hate it when he tells me to stop cursing so much. (Screw you, bastard.)

I hate it when he defends me even though he knows I can perfectly fight myself.

I hate it when he covers me when Saru-ji scolds us afterwards.

I hate it when he takes things on the top shelf for me that I can't reach.

I hate when he calls me cute. (I'm a warrior, dammit. Not. Cute.)

I hate it when he looks at other girls with this look that he never gives me.

I hate it when he kisses my cheek without warning even in front of Kaka-niisan. (It's embarrassing, dammit!)

I hate it when he holds my hand in public when he knows I get all flustered from that.

I hate his cocky grin when he pokes my cheek and says I'm adorable. (Again. NOT CUTE.)

I hate the look that he gives me when I've done something 'wrong'.

I hate when he sighs and just shakes his head like I let him down.

I hate it when he just smiles like it's nothing later and brush the subject off.

I hate when he hides the fact that he's hurt from me. No matter how much I try to get him to talk.

I hate that he can easily tell when I'm hurt and push on until I spill the beans and cry myself to sleep in his arms.

I hate that he's always behind my back, even when I'm doing something stupid.

I hate that he'll always pick me back up after I fall from doing something idiotic though he warned me not to do it.

I hate that he's so forward with his feelings to me when I can't even think of the 'L' word without freezing up.

I hate that he can say it in front of big crowds while I can barely whisper it in private.

I hate the hateful/jealous glares that follow suit afterwards from my own villagers.

I hate that he doesn't really notice it until I'm near tears.

I hate that he immediately panics no matter where we are when he does notice.

I hate that he puts so much effort to cheer me up when I can't even mutter a sorry without choking up afterwards.

I hated that his clan engaged him without his prior notice.

I HATED seeing his beautiful, blonde, and overly-bubbly Senju bride cling to him, a plastered smile on his face, while I saw the silent misery in his eyes.

I hated bawling myself to sleep that night.

I didn't really hate that the wedding got canceled, but I despised that the little wretch got away without any harm.

I hated comforting him that night, to see the hero's tears stain our clothing as he bawled out how stressful it was to be the next in line to the Uchiha clan head.

I hate that even the tiniest, insignificant things he says can affect me so much. (I don't show it of course. –Much..)

I hate keeping us a secret. (But his clan head would have a field day if he found out I was going out with one of his finest bred heirs.)

I hate it when he shields me in battle even though I cry and tell him not to as he bleeds out.

I hate it when he becomes a hero and saves my ungrateful ass every damn time.

I hate that he's willingly given his life for me so many times when I can't even bring myself to say how I really feel about him.

I hate that he's such a big show off, pulling me out of harm's way every time.

I hate that he nearly died because of my stupidity on the battlefield. 

I guess.. I don't really hate him. 

I hate..

Myself.

I hate myself for being in a coma and waking up just to find out he was already gone.

I hate myself for not being there for him.

I hate myself for not protecting him like he protected me.

I hate myself for loving him.

I hate myself for not knowing how to show it to him enough.

I hate myself for being weak.

I hate myself for feeling even the slightest bit of pity for myself.

I hate being without him.

Please come back, Shisui. I fucking god-bloody-damn miss you, asshole.

And if not, at least take me away from this cursed world. 

I really, really, miss you,

Shisui.

Owari~


End file.
